he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
