He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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