I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
