when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
