are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
