carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
