I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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