Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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