just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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