I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
try to milk me bitch
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
