I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize