Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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