i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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