the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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