omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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