she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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