my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
