I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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