We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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