This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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