I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
