Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
