Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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