I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
