Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize