Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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