If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
