Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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