Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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