so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
