Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize