She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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