Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
