I wish I could punch you in the face.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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