So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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