It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
