is your mom at the bar?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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