oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
