i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize