He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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