Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
