She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
