Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
