I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
