i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
