I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
