i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
