I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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