I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
