I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i think my cat just said my name.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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