I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
