I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
