I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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