is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
