Kiss
Puke
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We just shotgunned beers for America
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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