you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
