my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
