Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
