New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
