his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
