I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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